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The Childhood of My Marriage

The other day, my wife and I were in the backyard with Daniela, our 22-month-old daughter, who was playing with a beach ball.  My wife ran a few steps beyond her and said, “Come on, Daniela.  Run!”

Daniela was a little uncertain at first, but as my wife continued to encourage her, she mustered the energy and began awkwardly waddling towards my wife.

“That’s right, Daniela!  Come on,” said my wife, laughing and inching a little further away as my daughter ran to catch up with her.

As I watched Daniela trying to catch up with her, it hit me: it won’t be long before she can easily catch up with us, before she can say the vocabulary words that – for now – sound like a baby trying to speak French.   

Hold onto these moments of her childhood, I thought.

But then I looked beyond Daniela and saw my young wife laughing and running around in the backyard and realized that it won’t be long before we get older.  Lines will appear on our young faces, running around in the backyard won’t be as easy, and spending time with our daughters will mean talking to them on the phone from college.

As I’ve said before, we have a tendency to let ourselves get nostalgic about our children, showering them with care, while we forget that our spouse is our first love.  It’s understandable though; childhood is so short – but so is the childhood of my young marriage.

And just as I’m raising my daughters with great care in this tender time, I want to do the same for my marriage – to fill it with love and get it off to a good start so that one day, it will grow up strong and healthy.

7 Comments
  1. Thank you. I needed to read this, this morning. My husband and I have been married 2 years and we have a 1 year old together, and he has adopted my girls ages 7 and 5. So we didn't get to really have us time. We just jumped into full time family. This makes me think that we need to focus on our relationship more or we are not going to know how to live with each other without kids.

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    November 15, 2011
  2. Jenny, thanks for sharing. That makes me really glad I wrote this post.

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    November 15, 2011
  3. Thank you Josh, you are so right, years fly by before you know it. You have always had the words to say, I guess thats why you did so good in high school with the paper staff.

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    November 15, 2011
  4. Very sweet post. Sounds to me like your marriage is getting off on the right foot and is already growing up "strong and healthy." The fact that you think about these things is evidence of that. You remind me of the opening lines of that Browning poem:"Grow old along with me!The best is yet to be,The last of life, for which the first was made:Our times are in His handWho saith 'A whole I planned,Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!'"When given a choice between family and some other enticing thing, I usually chose (and still try to choose) for family. I have never once regretted spending time with my wife or my children. But I have regretted choosing other things over them occasionally. And now that my wife is in heaven, I am really, really, really glad for every time I chose for family. Cherish the days the Lord gives you! Thanks for posting this!

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    November 15, 2011
  5. I like that poem a lot, CJ. And I always appreciate your thoughtful comments.

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    November 15, 2011
  6. Thank you for sharing this insight. My husband & I have been married 15 years & have 2 boys ages 6 & 2. My 6 year old has Autism & can sometimes require a lot of extra care. Often times things can become so stressful in dealing with my 6 year old that my husband & I lose that time with each other. Your post was a reminder to me how precious our time is with each other & that once our boys are grown, we still have each other & how important it is to nurture not only our children but our loving relationship as well.

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    November 16, 2011
  7. The poem quoted above, "Rabbi Ben Ezra," deserves to be read in full. You can find it here: http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/173031

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    November 22, 2011

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