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With these four words, I knew my wife loved me

I sat on a bench in a beautiful cemetery visiting with the woman who would be my wife and tried to ignore my sad, racing heart. Our relationship was about to end — not because I wanted it to — because she was about to learn the awful truth.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” I said. Read more

That time my dad beat up the neighbor: a lesson in masculinity

When I was five years old, I was playing outside one day when a wild man in an old truck sped into our driveway and slammed on the breaks. Thank God my dad was there.

“Get your boy out here!” yelled the middle-aged man, who threatened to assault my 12-year-old brother, whom he accused of something. I couldn’t hear what the accusation was –all I knew was that the man was serious. As it turned out, however, my dad was more serious. Read more

A husband’s confession: what I learned from throwing a tantrum with a frying pan

One night during my first year of marriage, my wife and I got into a big argument that I haven’t forgotten. It’s not the argument that was memorable though — it’s the way it ended. Read more

The terrifying moment my daughter thought she was going to drown

I stood in the shallow end of the swimming pool waiting for my sobbing 5-year-old daughter to jump in. This had been going on for almost 15 minutes.

“I’m scared,” she cried. Read more

Three incredible pieces of marriage advice I’ve never forgotten

I recently got into a brief argument with my wife over something totally minor. In the moment, however, it felt like it was a huge deal (pride has a way of converting little offenses into major ones). Read more

I made a great discovery when I stopped staring at a woman on the beach

It was the crack of dawn and I couldn’t stop looking over at the woman a few feet away from me on the beach. I had come to watch the sunrise and she was getting on my nerves. Read more

The big surprise I found in my marriage — after nine years

I had been sitting on the edge of my bed for about 20 minutes when my wife, Raquel, walked in. I didn’t even look up.

“I can’t do this,” I said. “I can’t do it, I can’t do it, I can’t do it.” Read more

Top 10 posts of 2017

It’s the end of the year, and as usual, I do a recap of the most popular blog posts, articles, or op-eds I’ve written. Some of these pieces have appeared on my website — others have appeared on websites like or Read more

Mary was the one who actually had a nightmare Christmas

It was my worst Christmas ever, and it all got ruined by a pine tree, laundry detergent, and some really good intentions. Read more

Surviving Christmas: it’s really hard to fake happiness for a whole month

A few years ago, on Christmas Day, a friend was celebrating with her family when they heard a single, loud pop outside. They didn’t think anything of it, but soon the sound of sirens filled the neighborhood.

Their neighbor had walked out to the back patio and shot herself. Read more