Here I go again — waiting on God to provide the next Big Thing. This time it’s something different though.
Fourteen years ago, I was waiting for God to provide a wife. Twelve years ago it was a new job. Three years ago, it was physical healing. A year ago, it was selling my house. This year, I’ve got another Big Thing, and it’s driving me crazy.
I don’t want to wait. I want things to come easier than this. Enough with the cliffhangers. Let someone else dangle from the edge. I’d like a happy ending now.
I have great reasons God ought to provide the Big Thing right now (I really do) and I know He’s fully aware of those reasons. And although I’m certain He will come through like He always does, what if He doesn’t do it in the way I want? What then?
The pathway of trust feels like torture right now and here’s why: because I have to admit that I’m not in control. That’s a hard admission to make because I’ve done so much to stay in control. I’ve calculated what it would take to make things happen the way I wanted and then I did my part. Now it’s His turn and it seems like He’s not moving. Did I do something wrong? Did I misread the signposts along the way?
In moments like these, the only thing that gives me peace is to just give up and trust God with the Big Thing. It requires a different perspective though. Instead of waiting in fear, terrified that God may allow a huge letdown — I’ve got to wait in faith, like it’s Christmas Eve and I can barely wait to see what’s coming tomorrow.
I think that, to God, the most important thing isn’t so much whether we get the Big Thing (even if we really need it); it’s watching us mature into kids who trust their Dad. For some of us, the only way to grow into that kind of child is to go through the sometimes painful process of learning to trust—or perhaps just facing the fact that we may have made a Big Idol out of the Big Thing.
“My God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus,” says Philippians 4:19 (ESV). If that’s true—if it really is true—then we can trust Him to supply our Big Things in His good time. Perhaps the Big Thing we need more than anything else is the gift of believing that He’s good, regardless of whether His answer to our prayer is “yes,” “no,” or “I’ve got something better for you.”
I originally published this post in 2021. God recently blessed me with a Big Thing beyond what I could’ve asked or imagined. Even so, I can truly say that this Big Thing hasn’t made me complete. God is “[my] shield, … [my] very great reward” (Genesis 15:1).