What Men Should Know Before Tying the Knot

When I was single, I wrote a description of the kind of wife I expected to have and the kind of husband I thought I would be. I’m grateful I’ve lost that embarrassing list, but I do recall that many of my expectations centered on three areas: my confidence in instant maturity as a husband, the assumption of a near-perfect sex life and the expectation of non-stop infatuation.

There are Some Easy Ways to Ruin Your Marriage

At some point in my mid-thirties, it started happening to young couples around me. Their relationships began fracturing and falling apart, and it wasn’t always the people you would expect. These were good folks with good intentions who said every word of their marital vows with conviction. But various circumstances and choices began pressing upon them, and eventually, I saw them go through extreme stress, separation, and sometimes, divorce. 

A Few Things You Ought to Know About Matrimony

My wife and I live in Washington, D.C., a city that’s full of single men who aren’t ready to get married. If they’re anything like I was in my single days, their unwillingness to tie the knot has a lot to do with their unrealistic expectations. Now that I’m seven years into a happy marriage, if I could give some tips to all the single men about adjusting their hopes for life after the wedding, here’s what I would say:

What Marriage Might Do to Your Big Dreams

When I first started dating my wife, we were eating dinner one night and she asked a question that I didn’t think was very controversial: “What do you want to do with the rest of your life?” In my response, I mentioned that I wanted to return to my home state of Mississippi and run for Attorney General, and I also said I wanted four or five children. She looked at me like she was waiting for me to announce that I was joking. I wasn’t.

Five Ways Married Couples Can Love a Single Man

When I was single, I was terrified I would never marry.  But I was equally terrified I might marry the wrong person. If I married the wrong woman, I thought, I might end up with a wife who was subject to hormonal surges, occasional mood swings, weight fluctuations, bad habits, and bouts of irritability.  She might not share all my interests or always get my humor.  She might not like my music or always want to have sex.  She might, you know – like, be human.  And quite frankly, I wasn’t looking for a human; because so many of the humans I knew could…

When Arguing with Your Spouse, Pray for a Deer

The other day, my wife and I got into an argument over whether we needed to buy a bike.  And although we recognize that this is not a huge deal in the grand scheme of things, somehow it escalated to the point that we were both starting to raise our voices.  But then my wife suddenly looked out the window behind me and said, “Oh my gosh.” I couldn’t help but look.